the happy conservative

Why are people happy?

I’m happy when I’m doing what I like, surrounded by people I like, and it’s above fifty degrees.

I like to fly airplanes and listen to Mike Shannon call home runs and read books that don’t ask me to concentrate. I like classes that answer questions. I like open spaces and Raspberry Mocha Frappuccinos and movies with Kevin Costner and things with big engines and tires. I like to do game theory on the windows of my apartment. And I like to drink Diet Dew and think about starting a college in my home town and naming all the halls after Major Owens.

College kids have grand aspirations. Lately they’ve been raising money for Darfur by selling these flags at three dollars a pop and putting up touching signs comparing Darfur to the Holocaust.

There are about 100 flags out there. Maybe thirty of them were actually sponsored by students with delusions of grandeur. Ninety bucks. Ninety dollars won’t even send an empty box to Darfur, much less one full of touching fliers about the Holocaust.